Ending to Begin Again

EPILOGUE

One of the questions people have been asking since my arrival back in the States is whether I'll be continuing my blog. It started out as a means to communicate to a vast amount of people in several areas of my life as I traveled the globe. I didn't reckon it would in fact facilitate one of my greatest personal discoveries. I want to be a writer. I enjoy telling stories. I like making people laugh at life's messes and joys. I like inspiring our human spirits. Maybe what I write will hit it big, maybe it won't. But it's my art and I have been encouraged throughout this latest adventure to take the risk. My many greyhound hours led to brainstorming what I want to pen. I have a couple of brewing ideas....until my book signing here are a few last stories and reflections from my Down Under tramping...

~Due to washer machine winds, Andrew was unable to take us on our New Zealand scenic flight. Our disappointment was overcome by a healthy dose of laughter from the kiwi comedy delight "Eagle vs. Shark." Do you like "Flight of the Concords?" Then this little outrageous movie will be your new cinematic dessert.

~We said goodbye to Andrew and Toni, flew into Sydney on a very disappointing Jet Star flight (Emirates would have never asked us to pay for snacks!), checked into our hostel, and immediately set about saying goodbye to our peeps. We went out with style, indulging in all the joys of life. People. Food. Entertainment. Sites. Emotion. Our best friends from Australia, the fabulous Frenchies Caro and Vinci, had booked their flight to Singapore at the same time as our ticket to the U.S. We packed out a taxi with our luggage and had our last meal together at the airport. As Tara and I walked away from their embrace and cheeky kisses into the Customs queues, my heart fell. Shattered. With them, at least, I knew it was only a temporary absence. However, that goodbye was the naughty kid who pushed the porcelain vase off the table. Shattered.

~To be true "shattered" was the first word that popped into my head the morning of September 21st, 2009. I had created something whole and wondrous with Tara in Australia. It had people from eclectic backgrounds and lifestyles, people who spoke English as a second language, it had places that spoke of Sacred brilliance, risks, and self discoveries. This wholeness came from an anvil and hammer refined friendship with Tara and the blossoming of a new community for me. It holds my heart. Now this "wholiness" was ending. I felt shattered. Here's the thing, though. I'm ok with shattered. Before Australia, I finally was realizing the inexplicable joy of freely giving my heart away to people. It's so easily broken but I know me. I know I'll be ok. Love is worth the shattering. Perhaps, even, love is the shattering.

~This four month adventure abroad really made me contemplate my thoughts on "community." Community is built amongst people all the time. It is a support system that liberates and nourishes. Often, I've thought of truest community coming from relationships built intentionally over long periods of time. During the trip, I also have repeatedly witnessed community springing up instantly. I was taken care of by so many and cared in return. I have found kindred spirits. Solidarity of human spirit. That is community too. I've also realized the importance of relationships in understanding myself. With Abby coming, I was reaffirmed in some aspects of my core being that I had forgotten. I needed to be reminded and freed from my mind. Our friendship is essential to me knowing who I am, as are all of the relationships I have with my closest friends and family. Humans were created to exercise who they are in relationship, to themselves, to others, and to the Sacred. Life's greatest visual aide.

~My last important reflection. I am so happy. I have finally let go of needing to be a person who progresses throughout life in a logically building manner. For too long, I've been trying to mold into what I deemed I should want...a career, a home, a spouse, 2.5 children, a dog, etc. I should start saving more money. I should get a master's. But wait I should figure out what career I want first. Ugh. I didn't understand how people just knew. It's not that I don't want to do anything. Rather, I want to do so many things! I want to be a nurse, a chaplain, a counsleor, a physical therapist, a massage therapist, a social worker, an ambassador.... I want to see the world. I'm sure I'll want to put roots down somewhere with someone someday but until I know what that looks like, I'm forging on this risky no shoulder mountain road to continue finding out who is Joylynn. As a person who passionately loves people, it is hard to constantly be leaving the people I love. But here's the thing I've found upon my homecoming. Life evolves whether I'm on board or not. Kindred spirits dance through the change.

My plans now? Rest in the decisions of others (aka sponge off my parents...wonderful people). Pay off debt. Get some jobs. Save my money. Do it all again. Seize my life. Join it with others.

My last words must go to my traveling mate....

Tara, dearest, flexing my inner self, transforming, processing, and adventuring with you has been Sacred. Have courage, Sunshine, have courage.